Stuck

College is suppose to be fun, so far I have found it not to be. When I say fun, I mean not fun all of the time because it is there for students to continue their studies and get a degree which gives them more chances on getting their careers. I have hardly met anyone new and exciting at TCC this first year at college. Most people in classes are way older than me and I know they won't like the same things as I do.

College is the place where I am suppose to meet some of my life long friends. So far I have met maybe one person that I can think off the top of my head who I know is pretty cool and I think I could see myself hanging out with them on the weekend.

This week it snowed. I get on facebook and see all of my old friends from high school who have taken pictures with their new college friends playing in the snow and sledding down hills and just having a good 'ol time. I unfortunately will never experience as far as I know. I will never get to have the normal college experience like most people. Instead, I live at home with my parents, practically friendless, have just about no money, and have so many dreams that will never be fulfilled. This saddens me deeply. I will never have those photos of me and my new college friends in the snow. I will never know what its like to have a roommate and live in a dorm. I would move out and be somewhat on my own but instead I'm trapped at home because I don't make anywhere around enough money to get a semi-decent apartment that I would probably regret leasing because it stinks from the previous owner and the floorboards squeak where-ever and whenever you take a step. I am stuck in my 10' X 12' room that is too small to fit all of my clutter. I am stuck hearing 'welcome to life' every waking day.

This is disappointing. I still feel like I am in High School. I tried my best to hurry and get out of high school because I hated it there. My senior year was a complete fail. For some reason, my old friends who I would hang out with every weekend no longer would speak to me. I will never understand why, because I didn't do anything wrong for them to stop communicating to me. I noticed that some of my old friends just weren't who they were anymore and became angry and bitter towards others. I didn't want to allow myself to become like this person so I was the one who stopped the communication in that friendship. You win some, you lose some. Oh well, is all I can really say.

I am trying to find the rainbow on the other side of this rain cloud but not sure when I will find it.